Evaluation of Music Video Draft 1

So after completing my first draft I was given feedback and told where I could improve my video. The biggest issues I had was the framing and lighting of my band shots and the fact that my narrative wasn't coming in quick enough.

In terms of the framing of my shots I didn't pay close enough attention to detail when I framed the band shots and the result was that the neck of Scott's guitar started to go out of frame on the right hand side and on the left hand side there was a massive amount of space with nothing there to fill it expect the bass amp. 

Example:

As you can see from the screenshot the framing of this shot is very poor as Scott's guitar is drifting out of shot and his side looks cramped where as on the other side there is a big empty space and the only thing that is filling that space is the bass amp in the corner of the shot. So what I need to do for my final draft is prioritize my re-shoots so I can get the filming completely finished. 

The next big issue I had was lighting. The lighting issue also links to the framing issue as if you look at the picture above you will notice that me and Scott are very well lit using the spotlights in the drama room, where as Josh who was my drummer at the time has been plunged into complete darkness. This looks odd from an audience point of view as two out of three members stand out well but josh is barely visible within the shot. This further raises issues and emphasizes the need to re-shoot the band shots. Furthermore more because me and Scott are well lit it raises another issue and that is the fact that the light reflects off of my Bass guitar due to it being so shiny and this has caused lens flares that appear almost every other shot. This made my video feel as though JJ Abrams has directed it, as there ends up being a lot of lens flares. Once again further stressing the point that the band shots need to be re-shot.

Example:

As you can see from the screenshot there is a horribly bright glare on my bass guitar that is almost creating an unnecessary lens flare style effect.

The final two issues that need to be addressed was making the narrative start earlier and flow better between each character which will be an easy fix once the narrative shots are completed something else that is on the top of the priorities list. And the last issue is the terrible miming from Josh which also highlights the need for a re-shoot 

Example:

As you can see from the screenshot the distance from the drumstick to the snare drum is a huge distance and it was like that pretty much throughout the entire music video.

However there are some very positive aspects to my first draft such as, the narrative shots that have been completed are nice and look good and a very small selection of my band shots are really good and can be used still 

Example: